If Adam and Eve Only Had Two Sons, How Did They Reproduce?
October 18th, 2008
If Adam and Eve only had two sons, how did they reproduce?
-Lisa
Dear Lisa,
Are you questioning my father’s abilities? He can pop babies into wombs at will. He could snap his fingers right now and you’d be eight months pregnant. How would you like that? In fact, I have half a mind to tell Him to do it. I’ll tell him to wait until you’re not expecting it, though. Then — BAM — swollen ankles, back pain, and stretch marks!
Well, I guess you’re entitled to ask the question. Let’s just say that incest was a lot more popular back then than it is today. Well, maybe not more popular, but more acceptable. I’ve seen the Jerry Springer show, I know what you people do.
Anyway, these days everyone knows that incestual reproduction replicates recessive traits in the gene pool, thereby weakening the bloodline. Well, you probably don’t know, but everyone else does.
But back then we didn’t even know what DNA was. God didn’t even know. He was shocked when they discovered it. He was so surprised He spit out His YooHoo.
So He doesn’t really condone incest anymore. After all, He can still see the damage that those first few generations of inbreeding did to the human race. And he doesn’t even have to turn on Jerry Springer.
Thanks for the question.
JC
Tags: adam, babies, baby, eve, jerry springer, reproduce, sons, yoo hoo
Posted in Religious Questions | Comments (1)
October 25th, 2009 at 11:25 pm
OK- as this is all in humor it’s important to keep the record straight. Adam and Eve had three sons:
Cain, Able, and Seth, It was from Seth’s blood line that you were born of Mary. Without Seth you never would have come to be as you were the final male in the blood line. Have a great one..oops sorry, you are the Great One. Well there is this new guy, Barack Obama, but he’s not near as funny, fact he’s kinda sad, and his wife is kinda scary….but I digress. see ya
kwr