Who decided work days had to be 8 hours long 5 days a week and we only get 2 days off for a “weekend”?
April 2nd, 2010
Dear Jeesus,
Who decided work days had to be 8 hours long 5 days a week and we only get 2 days off for a “weekend”?
Thanks so much & God bless!
-April
Dear April,
I’m really not supposed to tell you this. I could get in trouble. But here goes: not all jobs make you work 8 hours a day, 5 days a week. Only the really crappy ones do.
I, for one, have never worked an 8-hour day. All those stories you heard about my great works are true, but they left out one detail: I clocked out at 2pm every day. Sometimes I went fishing. (It’s easy to avoid spooking the trout when you can walk on the water.) Sometimes I studied nuclear physics. Sometimes I performed in kabuki theatre. Sometimes I time-travelled to the future and helped paint angry picket signs for abortion protesters.
The point is that I had a lot of time on my hands. You should too. You’re not meant to spend 40 hours of your week wasting away as a cog in someone else’s machine. Not unless it’s my machine, anyway. And my machine cranks out peace and love. And also miniature combs that are used to get tangles out of people’s beards. (Until you have a beard, you have no idea how important those are.)
But what you’re meant to do is live a life of enjoyment. You’re meant to explore this wonderful world you were given. You’re meant to let your spirit soar.
But don’t tell anyone I told you all this. If the wrong people find out, I could lose my sponsorships from Pepsi and Adidas. And then I’ll be forced to get a real job. Not to mention losing my free kicks and my unlimited supply of Dr. Pepper.
But enough about me. If you have to work your 5-day-a-week, 8-hour-a-day job then try to be optimistic about it. Remember that there are a lot of people who work more than 8 hours a day and more than 5 days a week. Those people deserve our respect and admiration. But we’re also glad we’re not them, right? Those crazy suckers.
So work your job with your head held high and a smile on your face, and on the weekends let your spirit soar.
Your friend always,
JC
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