Why was algebra created, and why is it so complex?
April 3rd, 2010
Dear Jay Double E,
Why was algebra created, and why is it so complex?
-Joey
Dear Joey,
Algebra was created around the time of the events in the book of Exodus. Have you ever read that thing? Once you get past Chapter 25 it’s like nothing but word problems!
Take this example from Exodus Chapter 26, verses 7 through 10:
“And thou shalt make curtains of goats’ hair to be a covering upon the tabernacle: eleven curtains shalt thou make. The length of one curtain shall be thirty cubits, and the breadth of one curtain four cubits: and the eleven curtains shall be all of one measure. And thou shalt couple five curtains by themselves, and six curtains by themselves, and shalt double the sixth curtain in the forefront of the tabernacle. And thou shalt make fifty loops on the edge of the one curtain that is outmost in the coupling, and fifty loops in the edge of the curtain which coupleth the second.”
Still awake? No? Okay, I’ll wait… Awake now? Good. Now, in the above example, how were Moses and his posse supposed to know how much goat hair they needed to complete their project? Not to mention the rams’ skins, badger skins, and shittim wood they were going to need later? God is very particular when it comes to decorating, and He won’t tolerate a half-assed job. It’s for this reason that they had to come up with algebra.
For example, say you know that one goat provides 20 square cubits of goat hair (whatever the hell a “cubit” is). How many goats will need to be slaughtered in order to make 11 curtains, each of which is 30 cubits long and 4 cubits wide? You would use the equation X=(11)(30×4)/20. Solving for X, you would find that you needed 66 goats.
Now, say you wanted to figure out how many people those goats would be able to feed after you slaughtered them so you could make your curtains. Say, for example, that each man could eat one whole goat in a week. Each woman could eat half a goat in the same time period, and each child could eat an eighth of a goat. How many people would be fed within a week by the 66 goats if the group is 40% men, 40% women, and 20% children?
Um… I leave that one for you, Joey. Not that I can’t do it, it’s just that… um… Easter is coming up, and I’m due to make appearances in a tree stump, a slice of toast, a Cheeto, and a newborn baby’s birthmark. Then I’ll get a cut of the proceeds when all of those items are sold on eBay. Um, except the baby.
They’ll have to sell that on Craigslist.
Thanks!
JC
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