-Cupcake

Dear Cupcake,

I wish Cupid would have referred you to me before Valetine’s so I could make your day even more special but Oh well!

So, is it possible to fall in love with your bestfriend? Sure it is possible. Why not? Anything is possible; people fall in love with their brothers and sisters too! There are even some people who prefer loving their pet animals over people.

Going after your brother/sister isn’t something I would condone, but considering your best friend as a possible candidate for something greater (aka boyfriend) is definitely worth considering.

If you currently trust and confide in each other, communicate your thoughts and feelings to one another, then you already have a great foundation for something even greater than being just friends. Tell your friend how you really feel about him (and hopefully he will do the same) and if you two decide to flourish your relationship into a blossom of love and happiness, just make sure you express your expectations and guidelines.

As long you communicate, I believe no one will get seriously hurt if the relationship doesn’t work out and you don’t have to worry about any of your precious belongings showing up on EBAY and Craigslist.

I wish I could give you a formula of some sort but there are plenty of past examples out there on what not to do such as: Britney and K-fed, Paris and some horny toad dude.

Hopefully I answered your question,

JC

P.S- If it doesn’t work out, I have some interested people lined up here.

-Grace

Dear Grace,

This is a very common question, but it is also a simple one to answer. The first thing you need to realize is this: bad breath is a very manly quality to have. My breath didn’t exactly smell like spring flowers when I was on Earth, you know. We didn’t even have toothpaste yet.

So it shouldn’t damage your boyfriend’s self-esteem if you tell him he has bad breath; on the contrary, it should make him feel more like a man. If you really want to make him feel good, tell him his underarms and feet stink, too.

If having such a manly man is a problem for you, however, the best thing to do is to try to determine the source of the bad breath. It could be a medical or dental issue that needs to be diagnosed, or it could be caused by your cooking. (You are cooking for him, right? If not, you should be.) The solution could be as simple as providing plenty of chewing gum and/or mints around the house.

Or point out to him a news article about the long-term benefits of proper dental care, and tell him the article inspired you to brush, floss, and rinse with mouthwash more often. Then do it. The odds are that, if you set the example, he will follow along as well.

If all else fails, completely stop cleaning your mouth at all. Wait for him to comment on your bad breath, and take the opportunity to point out his. Even if this doesn’t work, chances are that your own bad breath will keep you from noticing his so much.

I just hope you don’t have a dog.

Good Luck,

Jesus H. Christ (the “H” is for halitosis)