- Jerry

Dear Jerry,

Thank you for submitting this question. I strongly feel that almost everybody in the world don’t know what they are actually consuming these days. The only group of people who have some type knowledge what they are consuming are the Asians and the Latinos; If they say chicken foot soup, believe me, it’s chicken foot soup! Nothing more and nothing less.

Mountain dew isn’t radioactive green just for nothing. Sure, it will shrink your kids ding-dong but how much it will shrink will all depends. If you drink the dew every once in a while, then you’re okay. You can still aspire becoming America’s next top porno star. Unless you drink a case of that stuff everyday, then you can legally considered yourself as a transvestite.

On top of Moutain Dew making you lose your ding-dong and your pimp status, there’s also other things you have to contend with in life such as: Red Bull giving everybody wings, and Taco Bell giving everybody the runs.

What’s wrong with good, dependable crystal-clear water and kosher foods?

Your friend,

JC