-Penunatoaudip

Dear Penunawhatever,

Is your local movie theater letting you down? Tired of movies about Alaskan vampires or human/honeybee interspecies dating? Wondering why Samuel L. Jackson seems to be in almost every movie ever made?

Well, you’re not alone. You can find quality films at the movie theater, but you first have to filter through all the mind-numbing crap. There are other places, however, where you can search to find exactly what you want. Like the fabulous fun-filled internet.

There are great sites like www.atomfilms.com or www.joost.com which allow you to watch independent short films. If you don’t like short films, that’s okay. Just play them very slowly, and they’ll turn into long films.

Or you can visit a site like www.getnakedmovies.com. Or you can go to the nearest smut shop. You pervert.

Another option is to visit your local bootleg movie distributor. Those folks work hard to sneak camcorders into theaters and illegally download content from the web. Check them out; you never know what they’ll have in stock. And it’s like playing the lottery every time you buy a movie: the quality could be anywhere from “horrible” to “actually kinda good”.

I hope I’ve been able to help you, Penunablahblahblahblahblah. Enjoy your movie watching experience.

Thanks!

JC