-Hopeless

Dear Hopeless,

There are many ways to tell if someone has a gambling problem. For example, if you are standing in the lobby of a building and someone bets you money that a certain elevator door will open first, that person probably has a gambling problem.

If a man has a drug problem but can’t afford to buy drugs because he lost all his money gambling, then he probably has a gambling problem.

If a woman bets money on the Tampa Bay Buccaneers or the Tampa Bay Devil Rays, then she probably has a serious gambling problem.

If you want to make a person stop gambling, get them addicted to something else. I suggest Christianity. Just have them give all the money they would normally gamble with to the church. The payoff will be far greater than it would be at the casino. I’ll bet you anything!

Thanks,

Jesus