Posts Tagged ‘muslims’

Why Haven’t You Sent A Crushing Blow To Muslims?

October 18th, 2008

Dude whats up with the Muslims and the other fanatics that feel they have to press there believes upon the entire planet at what ever cost in the name of ALLA, why havent you sent a crushing blow to there doctrine to discourge others from folling, a lot of people have told me there isnt a GOD but i know your real how you ask because my granma told me so and she has never lied to me LOL

-PoBoy

Dear PoBoy,

Seriously though, how come I have to keep explaining to people that I’m not God? If I was, then why would I have asked “my God, why have you forsaken me” when I was on the cross? For dramatic effect? I have to admit, though, it makes for a very lucrative movie.

Although I still haven’t gotten my check for The Passion of the Christ. I’m pretty sure I own the rights to that story. I’m just sayin’.

There is a God, so your grandmother didn’t lie to you (unless she told you that there was a Santa Claus. Then she lied her ass off.). But I am not God. I’m Jesus. I don’t deal crushing blows; I heal people and spread good vibes.

As far as the Muslims go… well, Islamic fanaticism is a complicated issue. I think I’ll allow my good friend and tennis partner Muhammed to explain.

Thanks,

Jesus H. Christ (The “H” is for “Happy Face”)

Dear Poboy,

I am Muhammed, the preferred prophet of Islam Inc. We, like Christ Co., are a business as well as a religion. As a business, we have to keep our customer base growing, and we have to keep them happy. Well, there’s a lot of competition these days, not only from Christianity and Judaism, but also from growing religions like Scientology, Rastafari, Wicca, and Bratz Doll Worship.

So we have to get the word out about Islam. Think of it like a Burger King commercial, but instead of that creepy guy in the mask who stalks people, we have nice lovable Muhammed.

I, like Jesus, spread only piece and good vibes. Unless you happen to be an infidel. Then may Allah have mercy on you.

Haha, just kidding, my friend. But check Islam out. We’ll let you have up to four wives!

Salaam.

Muhammed

Dear Poboy,

Hey, it’s Jesus again. Just wanted to say that having four wives isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Think of all the nagging! I’m just sayin’…

Jesus

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