-Bobby

Dear Bobby,

Are you trying to buy steroids from me? Listen, I got out of that racket after that whole Marion Jones thing in the Sydney Olympics. I told her to go for silver and nobody’d ever suspect her. But, no, she just had to be “the fastest woman on Earth”. (Little does she know, that title is already held by Cindy McNichols of Cincinnatti, who slept with a guy named Gary 10 seconds after meeting him. That kind of world record is hard to beat.)

The thing is, Bobby, using steroids has never worked out for anyone in the long run. Well, unless you count Arnold Schwarzenegger. He used steroids and became a champion bodybuilder. And then he became a famous movie actor, even though he couldn’t act and couldn’t even speak English at first (watch Conan if you don’t believe me.) And then he became a millionaire. And then he became Governor of California.

What was my point again? Oh, yeah… take steroids, Bobby, and one day you can be Governor of California.

Just don’t try to buy them from me, man.

Thanks!

Jeesus

-Dan

Dear Dan,

Sterol, by itself in it’s truest form, does not build muscle. In it’s truest form, sterol is an oil derived from steroids itself.

If you’re interested in building body mass, stick with the old school irons and eating right. What’s the point trying to accelerate a personal goal? You have to ask yourself, what’s the point of creating goals in the first place if you’re trying to ‘cheat’ your way to the top.

Do it righteous way and bask yourself with self-achievements and accomplishments.

The sole proprietor of the righteous way,

JC

-Dan

Dear Dan,

I’m a bit biased against using any type of supplements to increase anything unless you were born with some type of natural deficiency.

Have you seen pictures of me before? All natural baby! I was looking good back in the days and I didn’t have to show it off wearing those tight, some what metro sexual muscle shirts. You don’t want to be like this weird guy..

Roid Head Loves Himself – Watch more Free Videos

If you insist on taking creatine, please let it be known that this is a supplement. Taking too much of a supplement will not give you super human king kong like strengths any quicker than taking the recommended amount. From what I have heard, taking too much will only benefit your accuracy-skills in regards to shooting laser beams from your eye-balls.

For best results, creatine should not be taken with caffeinated drinks. In some research, creatine mixed with caffeinated drinks actually slows the muscle building affects when taken with different type of drinks. Creatine would be best taken with glucose or fructose based drinks.

Your super duper ripped friend,

JC

P.S.- Please note, anything posted here is just for hurmor; so if you decide to drink that 8 gallon drum of creatine and land yourself in the hospital, you’re on your own. Don’t be blaming JC for new found dumbass-ness.