-Shontee

Dear Shontee,

If your friend’s MySpace page makes her look like a porn star, that’s probably what she wants to look like. For many people, porn star is a desirable title. It has the word “star” in it, at least. So for someone who hasn’t managed to become any other type of star, “porn star” might be the way to go.

If you want her to change her MySpace page, tell her it makes her look like something less prestigious: like a “crack whore”. Nobody wants to be a crack whore.

No little girl ever said, “I wanna be a crack whore when I grow up.” Not even crack whores want to be crack whores. You can also try terms like “slut”, “skank”, “hussy”, “floozy”, or “village bicycle”. But I think “crack whore” will work the best.

Good Luck,

Jesus

P.S. Umm… what’s your friend’s MySpace URL? I need to see it for… um… business reasons. Jesus stuff. You understand. Thanks!