There’s one question I get asked more than any other, so I just want to get the issue cleared up once and for all so that we can move on to other, perhaps more important, issues. I realize that it’s a very divisive topic, and I don’t want to seem like I’m taking sides. But it seems like practically every other person I meet wants to know where I stand.

So before I give you my answer, I just want to make it clear that this is not a critical issue. You will not fall out of my favor or go to hell for disagreeing with me on this. I know that you Christians strive to live as I lived, but this is just my personal preference, not a matter of religious doctrine. It’s okay to disagree.

That being said, here’s my answer:

Boxers.

Those tighty whiteys just aren’t roomy enough, if you know what I mean.

Thanks,

Jesus Christ